The Journey Begins

In June of this year (2018), I was diagnosed with breast cancer -- to be specific, invasive ductal carcinoma (stage 2, initially stage 1), hormone positive, Her2/neu negative [I've learned that these details are important to survivors and help us recognize one another and understand our respective journeys]. It was an absolute shock, coming after... Continue Reading →

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Attitude is Everything

Why "fuck cancer" as the theme of this blog? Because this is war, and I have to remind myself every single day that I'm a fighter... no, make that a warrior. No time for self-pity or a "why me" attitude. It's either fuck cancer or fuck Janet and I'm choosing to fuck cancer. It just... Continue Reading →

Featured post

Fucking Cancer

Interregnum, day 1. Today is the first day of my "break" between chemo and radiation and I'm really angry at cancer and what it has done to me and to people I care about. The day started with decorating for Christmas, bringing in the Christmas tree that we had cut down on Saturday, and getting... Continue Reading →

Climbing Out

Cycle 4, day 17. A survivor friend contacted me last week to ask if I was "climbing out of the hole" and I honestly can't think of a better description of the recovery trajectory from chemo. This last round has been slow going. Usually by this time, I'm feeling pretty good and pretty energetic, but... Continue Reading →

Time for a Gratitude Reboot

Cycle 4, day 11. No matter how you cut it, cancer is depressing, make that fucking depressing. And while battling the side effects of treatment is challenging and really hard some days, harder still are the emotional side effects and the sheer effort of getting through a day. Complicating this is the fact that I... Continue Reading →

Turning a Small Corner

Cycle 4, day 8. Thanksgiving was lovely and very very hard. Lovely in terms of being surrounded by family and having the wonderful distraction of their lives and their humor and their love. Hard in terms of being in the post-chemo slog, so much of my time was spent on the couch, or in a... Continue Reading →

Final Chemo (I Hope)

Cycle 4, day 1. In about an hour, I will head to the hospital infusion suite for what I hope will be my final round of chemo. I say "hope" because you never know. I'm enough of a realist, and experienced in the vagaries of cancer, to know that the cancer could come back, or... Continue Reading →

Next Phase

Cycle 3, day 16. Today, we met with the radiation oncologist to better understand what the next phase of treatment will hold. Bottom line: it won't be a walk in the park, but it won't be worse than what I've already been through. I learned a bit more about the pathology of my cancer, how... Continue Reading →

Qigong and Reiki

Cycle 3, day 12. This morning, feeling pretty energetic (11 hours of sleep helped quite a bit, as did a rebound that started to take hold a few days ago), I went to my second qigong class at a local studio. Qigong is a Chinese practice of movement, meditation, and breathing that was recommended to... Continue Reading →

Rebound, Where Are You?

Cycle 3, day 10. I woke up today near tears contemplating getting through one more day of this. I think I scared my husband when I devolved into real tears and he decided to stay home long enough to join me for a walk. Poor guy. In past cycles, I saw nearly daily improvement after... Continue Reading →

The Slog

Cycle 3, day 5. Not a great few days. I didn't even get the usual half-day of energy I have gotten in the past few cycles on the day after chemo. In fact, I was back in the infusion suite two days after my infusion in order to get IV rehydration for three hours. So,... Continue Reading →

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